Friday, May 2, 2008
I was never a fan of cartoons, even when I was about five I'd rather play with my pretty niece house than watch crap like Spiderman. I can remember once I was playing with my niece one of my cousins want to play with us. I refused he played with us. Because I am the one my niece want to play with and no one else. So I told my cousin to go to hell. Find someone else to play with. Then I was about five or six. Now I am about thirty I think he still hates me for that.
Two years ago I was in my homeland for a wedding of one of my cousins. That cousin that I want let play with my niece was there too. He asked if I would sit with his ex-girlfriend and few of his friends. I do not care, although his friends are not my type of people. I just sat down with them and drank few of that Danish brews. I tried to start with this cousin I mentioned before. He ignored me. That was all right I do not get mad though except when it comes to women.
Weeks later there was the annual feast of our church in our old neighborhood. I was walking alone towards the church. I came across my cousin that I mentioned before again. Although I had curly hair when I was young, I am getting bolder. I asked my cousin, why one of his cousins had shaved his head? Is it because he is also getting bolder? He ignored my question for the second time. I thought it is all right man. That is it. I decide to not to ask him nothing anymore. I am a big fan of Godfather movies. I can remember that Micheal Corleone was saying in a scene never underestimate the power of forgiveness. These are words of wisdom. I think my cousin need to go watch that movie and he need to forgive me if I did something wrong. I still think he is mad of that fact that I would not let him play with me and my niece.
I was not missing anyone one form my homeland since I got here in the nineties. I was having a good time here where I live. I listened to the song of Micheal Jackson "I'll be there". Then I realized that I was not there for my niece or anybody. I now starting to feel alone. Although I have my parents and sisters few miles away from me. I do not care either. I had a youth with no worries and mad fun. Till one of my friends committed suicide. It took my years to get over it. I think family is important, but there are moments that they can get into your nerves. I had six cousins from my fathers side and except for one I smacked all of them. That was how we use to play. I think those childhood memories remain for ever. In my old neighborhood there are good times and bad times.
I have family in Germany I can visit them. I do not want it. With those ones that lives in Germany and Italy are excepting me to come visit them. I think it always got to come form one side. I was thinking for a while to go to Italy for work. I have overgrown of the culture of my people form my homeland is living even they are abroad. I think they are refusing to assimilate to the culture of the country they are living in. I see me self as a assimilated European. I think even if I would go to Italy I would not fit in with the people of my home country. The way some of my people speak their language can really annoy me.